Feeling down, when you’re usually up… what do you do about it?
As a naturally upbeat and optimistic human, I often get a lot of people quickly recognise when my energy is more at a 5 than the usual 10.
“Jade is everything ok, you seem down today?”
Insert ‘dum dum dum’ music here.
There’s not many things that can bring your mood lower than when other people point out that your mood is low. People are only asking from a place of care, but it doesn’t make the situation any easier to deal with.
In the past I would have pretended that everything was fine, and faked a positive mood until I had some time alone to be authentic with my emotions. Does this feel familiar to you? Sometimes its uncomfortable to share how you’re really feeling, open up about the reasons why you’re feeling low. Sometimes, you just don’t know - you’re feeling down just because, and that’s totally fine too.
The thing is, when you’re usually an optimistic human or an Energizer bunny of energy, it’s easier for others to notice a difference when things aren’t high. I’m here to tell you that you’re allowed to feel low, that it doesn’t mean anything is wrong with you if you’re having a down day. It’s completely normal.
There’s a difference between ignoring your emotions and choosing to move on from them. What I mean by this is that when you repress or push down your emotions, you’re not giving your body the time to feel what it needs to. Your body is not actually working through or processing the emotion. Whereas, when you move through them, allow your body to feel what is needs to and then choose to give it permission to move on from the feelings, you’re working through things. This ensures that our body isn’t story unprocessed or repressed emotions for us.
This week has been one of those weeks for me. A few things happening in my life that has made it difficult to be laughing and smiling 7 days, and here is what I have been doing this week to get me through it.
Allowing myself time and space. This means genuine space and distraction free time. No TV, no scrolling. Simply myself, my thoughts and either a comfortable couch or some fresh air. Going for walks, or journalling on my couch have been two of the best spaces to feel emotions and move through them.
The think about dealing with your emotions is that you need to give yourself space to hear what your body is trying to tell you. This means turning off the distractions. Your phone, Netflix and social media are all great ways to avoid what you really need to do, they can easily be masking the ability to find out what’s really going on with your emotions. Give yourself this space and be shocked with how quickly you uncover your real feelings. Simply sit and listen, walk or journal your thoughts out.
Opening up about my feelings with those that I trust. I’ve actively reached out to those closest to me, or when asked how I’ve been by other close friends, I’ve told them the honest truth. Verbally discussing your emotions is a great way to process them and find out what is really going on for you internally.
I used to feel shame around not being my usually bubbly self all the time. Like I wasn’t allowed to feel darker emotions because that was something that other people experienced. The reality is, it’s all part of life. To know the highest highs, we need to recognise that there’s the lowest lows. You can only know it’s bright if you’ve seen the dark. Yadda yadda. You know all of the sayings that there are about this concept - know that your feelings have no morale value, they’re simply an indication of information you need to know. Listen, learn, and move on.
Speaking it through with those you trust gives an opportunity for reflection, asking questions and a chance for your dearest to bring you into line of thoughts that aren’t serving you.
When people in my life have reflected on my low energy, and I haven’t wanted to open up entirely with them, I have said something along the lines of ‘it’s been an internal week for me this week, dealing with some personal stuff, and feeling proud of myself for taking the time I need’. Nothing more. It’s ok to be honest, and not need to share any extra information. It’s also very important that you are true to yourself. The more you pretend like everything is ok, the more your body represses the things you’re wanting to deal with.
Next time you’re not feeling a 10/10 on the positivity scale, remind yourself, I am allowed to have some low days. This is natural and I am still worthy, still valuable and still loved.
Listen to your body, listen to your heart and deal with what needs to be discussed at the time. The quicker you’re able to work through the low emotions, the quicker you’re able to bounce back to your optimistic self.
If you’re down days are starting to become more frequent, and you’re finding it hard to see why, book in a free session with me. I am happy to talk through what’s going on in your world and give you some tools to assist with turning your light back on.
