The Secret to Developing Your Confidence
Firstly, I say developing, because I believe everyone already has confidence within them, you just need to flex the skills a bit more.
Developing your awareness in this area is the first step.
What is the key reason you're feeling like you're lacking confidence at this exact point in time?
A few of the most common answers I hear to this question are:
Because I get really nervous before I have a presentation for work or need to talk in front of a crowd
Because I'm too scared to ask for a pay rise or a promotion
Because I see someone I know and they seem so much more confident and relaxed in places I get really anxious
If this is you, thats totally normal and they're all very valid reasons.
Secondly, screw those reasons - let's throw all of them out the window and get cracking with developing confidence in yourself.
The quickest way to build confidence in yourself, without a doubt, is simple. It's a little bit too simple that you're probably going to read what I say next and go 'awww Jade, as if' and ignore everything else I say. Please continue reading. This works!
Take two: the quickest way to build confidence in yourself, without a doubt, is to do the things you say you're going to do.
I'll repeat that one more time.
Do the things you say you're going to do.
Eye rolls. Groans. Moans. I hear them all and believe me, this is the secret.
Think of your subconscious like a very close friend (literally the closest friend you'll ever have). The friend keeps making commitments to you. For example, after work today I'll drop over those cookies that I baked, or let's catch up on Thursday for a walk around the lake. Super annoyingly, your friend doesn't drop off the cookies, and they don't meet you at the lake. They keep saying they're going to do these things and they keep failing to do them. Time after time.
What do you do?
How do you feel?
Can you see where I'm going here? You will begin to get pretty let down by this friend. Lose trust. Lose respect. Overall, you'd probably start to see them as really untrustworthy. This is what you're currently doing to your subconscious. Every time you say you're going to do something and you don't, you're breaking the trust that your mind has with your ability to follow through with your word.
Confidence is simply the belief and trust that you're going to be ok regardless of what happens. Being confident enough to get on stage and talk in front of a crowd doesn't mean you instantly have no nerves, it means you trust yourself enough to be ok with whatever happens. Even if you forget all your words or trip as you walk on stage, you'll be ok. That's confidence.
So when we're constantly refusing to follow through with the small things, our mind begins to lose trust. How can I trust you to be ok in times when I'm nervous, if I can't even trust you to take the rubbish out every Tuesday?
Is it starting to make sense now?
The more you can commit to the small things you ask yourself to complete, the more you're reinforcing to yourself that you're trustworthy.
You know you’ve got it within you. Book a free chat with me and we can spend 30 minutes discussing you!
