You can give yourself permission.

I had a conversation with a client this week and it made me realise just how common this belief actually is. Before I started my business, before I had even figured out what I wanted to do in business, I used to think to myself ‘I’ll know when I have enough skills.’

I would lie in bed at night thinking - and when I reflect on that, realistically the only way to describe would be that - I was basically unconsciously saying the below to myself:

“People who run businesses are acknowledged for their business acumen, one day I’ll have that too.”
”I’ll complete a course, or get a qualification and then I’ll be ready for business.”

Lying in my bed (which at the time was on top of train tracks, so it definitely wasn’t peaceful pondering), I would imagine the life in my future where I owned my own business. I imagined how confident I would feel. How I would stand. How I would talk. Who I would know. It was all this gorgeous idea for the future. A dream only. I wasn’t ready for that yet. I hadn’t met the people. I didn’t hear the praise.

I hadn’t received permission to be an entrepreneur.

It’s actually so funny to look back at now… I genuinely believed that someone would tell me I’m ready. There would be a big moment, a situation occurring that would confirm now I was ready. Now I could take the big leap. Believing that it was like some strange permission was granted.

Little did I know… no one is coming.

Permission is not given.

I am the creator of my destiny.

I get to take these decisions into my own hands. I needed to be ready to grant myself the permission to go for it. Permission to chase my dreams. Fail and get back up. Dive into what makes me happiest. I am the one who gives myself that permission.

I’d actually forgotten all about the fact that I used to think like this, until recently when I was talking with my client.

They mentioned that ‘they’re not quite there yet’ and ‘they need to wait a bit more time until they’ve got more under the belt’.

“More what?” I questioned.

“What are you actually waiting for?”

They couldn’t answer the question. Mind you, let me also add - this was in reference to starting a project, we weren’t talking about leaving a job or starting a company. The permission to start a new project didn’t feel qualified for this client of mine.

I instantly was reminded of that feeling that I had experienced.

I’d look at other entrepreneur friends of mine and say to myself:

“They’re so much more confident, that’s why they run a company.”
”They know more about business and using Xero/CRM’s/Excel, that’s why they run a company.”

Ahem Jade!! When do you think they learned to use Xero?

When do you think they subscribed to a particular CRM?

WHEN THEY STARTED A BUSINESS!

It was so uncomfortable in my body when I remembered these feelings. Like a huge worthiness piece. It takes a certain level of worthiness to feel capable of starting a business, or a project, or doing something different to what your usual status quo is.

What is a worthiness piece? It’s a part of our identity that unconsciously believes if we’re worthy enough of receiving something or not. Am I good enough for this? It’s not rational. It’s certainly not logical, and it nearly definitely doesn’t make sense - alas, it’s a huge part of the human experience and some feel it more extensively than others.

Think for yourself right now - when you want to go for an opportunity, apply for a job, start a project - how do you identify in relation to that experience? Can you comfortably see yourself stepping into it, or do you think it’s only an opportunity that is possible for someone else, someone with ‘more’ of something you don’t have? If you’re comparing yourself to others, and thinking that they’re capable of having something and you’re not, it often comes back to your level of self worth. It’s a really great place to build awareness into your self development journey.

I get sidetracked, the reason I’m sharing this story particularly for you today is so I can scream from the rooftop, YOU CAN GIVE YOURSELF PERMISSION. You are worthy enough.

You have the complete autonomy to decide what you’d like to do next, and go after it.

I said to my client ‘what would make you feel worthy enough to start this project now?’ and she said ‘for someone to tell me it was safe to do so’. She was looking for the confirmation that if it didn’t go well, things would be ok. I got her to confirm all the times in her life that things haven’t gone well and she’s been completely fine. She went through all the proof points of times that she has developed the skills of looking after herself and making it work. She then was asked to describe all the times she’s started a project and it’s gone incredibly well. She was able to find the reasoning within herself that now is a great time. She gave herself permission to press go.

Usually we’re looking for safety and reassurance so we can ‘blame’ another person if it doesn’t work out… I ask you to take responsibility for your actions and back yourself. You get to be in complete ownership of yourself, and therefore in complete ownership of your success too.

If you’re waiting for someone else to clarify that you’re now capable of going after that next thing, ask yourself ‘for what purpose do I need their permission’? Can I give it to myself right now? If the answer is yes, than I want you to accept the permission from yourself and take the first step you can towards making it a reality today. Go after it! I dare you!